The last hurdle

This post is dedicated to all those who are currently in the heat of exam season or approaching the finish line of completing their degree.

Interestingly, the last couple of days have been quite draining for me, and I was struggling to get started on this blog. When I got back to writing last week, I was super proud of myself for being ahead and writing these posts at least one, even two days before the actual day it is to be uploaded. The thoughts were flowing, I knew what I wanted to write about, and I felt like my mind was clear. But then I had a rough day yesterday. I was meant to write the post that would be uploaded today. However, because I got stressed, I couldn’t focus. I didn’t even know what I wanted to address. So I chose not to write. It was already nighttime by then, so I liberated myself and chose to get some rest. When I finally got up, I felt a lot better but still struggled with figuring out what I wanted to ramble on about this time. But I received a call, and that is what gave me the inspiration for today’s blog.

As you may have read in a previous post, I have a younger sister who is in the process of doing her A-Level exams. Last night she called me, stressed and upset. She was worried that she wouldn’t get the results she had worked so hard to achieve. She had done multiple practice papers by herself in preparation for the exam this morning, but for some reason didn’t seem to be getting the high marks the same way she was getting them not too long ago when practising with her tutor. After sitting down with her and giving some big sister encouragement, love and advice, she was able to calm down. But there was one crucial thing I had to address: she needed to believe in herself. 

See, it’s easy for people around you to see your potential. Even our enemies can see our potential, that’s why they try to go up against us. But if you don’t believe in yourself, you’ll never go further than that potential. This is something I’m still heavily trying to chew on. My confidence has taken many knocks over the past 4 years, and till now, it’s taking a lot of work to build it back up. So I said to my sister, she has to believe in herself, otherwise she’ll only settle for the bare minimum. She could accept that mentality of “it is what it is”. Like no. That’s not the mentality to accept. You have to pick yourself up and keep fighting. Even when you feel like the odds are stacked against you, learn how to climb over them. 

I’m pleased to say that my sister, with her new “I can” mentality, came out of that exam confident that she had crushed it!

Many times in life, we get so close to the finish line and then suddenly an obstacle comes up, and we feel like giving up. It happens all the time. Everything is flowing, we’re doing well, dreams are big, hopes are high and then BOOM! The whispers of doubt start to enter our minds. Fear starts to try to surround us. Anxiety starts lurking around. We question why we started. We question why we didn’t quit when it looked like we had the chance to. We wonder whether we wasted our time, energy and resources. But we shouldn’t. Because if we really pay attention, we realise that we are so close to the finish line. Hilariously, my sister was saying that she wants to quit her A-Levels now because she didn’t think it was for her. You best believe I had to laugh and remind her that she only has one month left. No turning back, babe!

Imagine an athlete in a hurdle race. The gun goes off, and they start sprinting and jumping over the hurdles. One jump. Two jump. Three jump. And then the tiredness starts coming. The body, even though it has trained for this moment, can start to feel tired. The body will naturally not have as much power at the end compared to when the race started. But the body may not be the biggest concern. It is the mind that must be protected. Why? Because the mind, once compromised, will no longer pour its effort into the mission at hand. That athlete can't pay attention to their opponents. If they do, they will fall. If they take their eyes off of what’s ahead of them and the finish line right there in front of them, they’ll never have a chance to win. You must protect your mind.

A problem I believe our society has is the desire for everything to happen exactly when they want. No one likes to wait. One of my favourite examples is the mainstream fitness industry. You can research workout routines on YouTube, and straight away, I can guarantee, you’ll be bombarded by a list of videos with titles along the lines of “Get Abs in 2 weeks!” or “Hourglass figure in 1 week!” No Sharron. No one is getting abs in 2 weeks. That’s not how exercise works. We’re like children who never grow up. We want things now or else there’s a tantrum, and we’re all complaining. Well, the harsh reality is, you have to be patient. It may take days, weeks, months or years, but either way, you have to wait. Eventually, if you keep working hard and don’t give up when the negativity tries to creep in, you’ll succeed. One way or another, you will. 

And the other hard truth that I have to tell you…’protecting your peace’ doesn’t mean running away from anything and everything that seems hard. If this is your mentality, I hate to be with barer of bad news, but you are in for a VERY hard, and probably lonely, life. Now I understand where this phrase came from. It came from the idea that nothing or no one should cause you so much stress that you become miserable and lose the joy of life. I get that. And if there is something that truly is causing you to be in a bad mental or emotional state, then I would recommend seeing what you can do about it. However, I am completely against the idea of suddenly cutting people off because you disagreed over one thing, and now they are ‘disrupting your peace’. Honey, your opinion isn’t the only one in this world. You have to learn that not everyone is going to agree with you, and simply walking away won’t make things better. You’ll lose a lot of valuable relationships that way. The same thing with environments. Just because you had a bad day at work doesn’t mean you should quit. We have become soft, and it’s time we toughen up a bit. 

I raise the two things up because they’re very common with teenagers and young adults within education. We want exam season to be over in the blink of an eye. To have our grades back the next day rather than waiting over a month for them. To graduate already and get straight to work. Or we want to quit as soon as we notice that what we are studying is more challenging than we thought. We allow ourselves to get overwhelmed, panic and regret every choice we ever made up to that moment. 

Let’s take a deep breath. 

It’s not the end of the world. You’re not the only one feeling that way. Yes, it’s not always been easy, and I don’t think there is anything enjoyable about taking an exam, but you have what it takes. And just as I said to my sister, I say to you, reading this as well, believe in yourself. Believe that you can make it through the challenges. Believe that your hard work will pay off. Believe that you will succeed. All the hard work that you put in, it will pay off. Don’t worry. And to those who are maybe experiencing regret and realised that maybe they didn’t use their time well or put as much effort into their work while they had the time, it’s not the be-all and end-all for you either. You may experience the consequences of it, like having to retake an exam, but it doesn’t mean your life is over. Like the phrase says:

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.”

So to all my students out there who are aiming to pass their GCSEs, A-Levels or receive their degree, you’ve got this! Don’t look at those around you, keep your eyes focused on what's in front of you and remember that the finish line is not that far away.

Love,

me. 🤍

Ps. I was quite tired of writing this, so this post may have felt a little all over the place. Either way, I appreciate you taking the time to read it, and I will continue to improve day by day!