Perfection or Procrastination - The Battle of Starting

Sooooo…haha….ummmm….where do I start?

When I created this website, my goal was to write at least one post per week. It initially started great! I managed to make two posts in one week. And that was all the way back in February…

It’s now May.

How in the world did I fall off so quickly? And why am I back now?

The truth is, I never knew for sure what it was I wanted to write about. I knew I wanted this website to be a place where I could practice my writing skills, upload inspiring posts, and create a digital portfolio in hopes of getting into copywriting one day. But that was the only plan I had. I didn’t have a plan for the content itself, so after the second upload, I didn’t know what to say. 

Now, I have never forgotten about the website. Matter of fact, I spent a lot of days thinking about it (especially as I had the constant reminder that I was paying to maintain it every time I checked my bank account). I knew that one day I’d love to share with others this curated space of written creativity and reflection that I’ve been working on, but I felt ashamed to share things when it was still in the early stages. I wanted things to appear pristine and wait until I had much more content uploaded. Unfortunately, we hit a standstill, which left me to question: where did things go wrong?

After MUCH reflection, here’s what I think happened:

I was striving for perfection from the beginning. 

Knowing the purpose I wanted this page to have, my desire was for everything to feel professional and organised. To have everything in its right place. The only issue with that is, what do you consider perfection? Is it to have a perfect layout? Colour palette? Typography? Tone of voice? All of the above? That’s a lot of things for a beginner to get right when just starting. Not even professionals reach perfection. They are always learning how to develop their craft. That’s what makes them the best. They aren’t afraid to make mistakes or create something that may not seem as polished. They are comfortable with receiving feedback from their peers or self-criticking and then applying those improvements to their next piece of work. So if a professional with 10+ years of writing experience still does not reach perfection, how can I, a beginner, expect to have everything sorted from the get-go? It’s ridiculous.

I am not afraid to admit that, because I desire for things to be perfect from the beginning, I end up falling into a nasty state of procrastination. If I am not careful, my motivation and inspiration fade away, and I no longer feel that drive to create. It’s safe to say that I won’t go anywhere with that mindset. Recognising this dangerous mentality, I have identified that this is something that I must work on if I desire to go anywhere in life. Otherwise, all I will ever be is someone with potential, and I have too much to offer to be that. 

During these past three months of not writing, I have been reading the book of Proverbs. As I was going through this HUGE book of wisdom, one verse struck me:

“Do you see someone skilled in their work? 
They will serve before kings;
they will not serve before officials of low rank.” Proverbs 22:29

This verse opened my eyes to the fact that someone who masters their skill will naturally climb up the ranks. They have spent their time practising and persevering, no matter what the seasons of their life look like. Some of my favourite things to watch are documentaries on Japanese craftsmen. It is amazing to see that most of these craftsmen are not the first generation of their family to be in the business. These crafts can include woodwork, textiles, pottery, cooking, etc. Many of them appear to live very simple lifestyles, yet what their hands produce results in them being internationally recognised and able to sell to some of the most powerful individuals, such as Kings and Queens, Emperors, Governors and more. And one thing that I admire about them and the Japanese culture is humility. 

I remember watching a documentary about traditional Japanese weaving.

The elderly woman lived with her husband on a rather deserted island. The husband would go throughout the forest to gather natural materials that his wife could then turn into thread using the fibres of the plant. Despite how interesting it was to learn about this process, it wasn’t what caught my attention the most. What caused me to pause the video and think about was something the husband explained. They believed that there was a god who ruled that island, so whenever the husband would go to collect resources, he would always ask permission from his god to harvest it. He would only take what he needed, and the rest belonged to the god.

As a Christian, I believe everything on this earth belongs to the Lord. Although I don’t share the same belief with the gentleman, I questioned how I could apply it to my faith and also my work ethic. Recognising that all that I have belongs to the Lord and I should always remember to give thanks and pray that he blesses the work I create. 

“23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” 
Colossians 3:23-24

This verse reminded me that, by mastering a skill, I not only am serving myself and the community around me, but I am also serving the one who originally gave me the ability and understanding to do the work in the first place. 

So how does all of this link to me going on about my battle with perfection and procrastinating?

I now understand that the best way for me to get better and achieve wonderful things in this life is to just start. I can’t wait for the “perfect moment” or when I feel I have finally got everything I need and ultimate understanding. I must let go and forget this false idea of perfection being the standard. A baby doesn’t learn how to run when it is born. It must learn how to crawl and walk first. But anyone who is a parent will know that, once that child has learnt how fast it can go, it can be tricky to stop them. It’s as though they find freedom in their ability to move. And that’s how it should be with mastering a skill. You must accept the fact that you have to learn how to crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can run. But don’t be discouraged by the length of the process because there will come a time when you’ll be running, and it may be tricky for others to catch up to you!

Interestingly, English was my worst subject at school. I’m honestly still amazed that I passed English GCSEs, bearing in mind that, 5 months before, I got an E. In A-Level Photography, I had to practice essay writing as part of my grade, which required written work. I distinctly remember my teacher coming up to me, essay in hand, and seeing a big red ‘A’ in the corner. I can still remember his voice telling me he was impressed and congratulating me. I believe I was one of the only ones in class who achieved an A for that assessment. I weirdly found myself enjoying writing those small essays for my creative subjects. But even after that high, I still wanted nothing to do with writing. I deliberately chose an Art degree as I wanted to get as far away from English as possible. Well, the joke was on me because I’m positive that my degree required me to make more written content than actual design. But guess what? In my final year, I had to do a written essay of 3000 words. I ended up writing over 5,000 words and was told by my teacher, “I’m amazed with the quality of this. It’s written at a post-graduate level. I’d expect this from someone who is completing a Master’s.” I tell you, no one has ever been able to pull me down from that cloud and to this day, I can confidently say that I know I have it in me if I just keep practising.   

On that note, I am happy and comfortable to say that I will not be striving for perfection when I write these posts. My focus is simply on practising how to write engaging content, persevering and staying consistent. With time, I know I will become a master in my own way and achieve more than I could imagine.  

Although I am not striving for perfection, I do enjoy my organisation. For this reason I will be uploading what I call 'Written Wednesdays' every, as you guessed it, Wednesday. These posts are slightly more in depth compared to my casual blogs. Ironically, I am not publishing this one on a Wednesday but you will still find it under the 'Written Wednesday' page of my website.

So keeping that in mind, I look forward to our first official Written Wednesday next week!

Love,

me. 🤍